What it Means to Love
by Rukuri
Summary: When Love can kill you in more ways than one. Sango x Kagome, Yuri


**What it Means to Love**

_Her breath is hot against the others__ cheek as her fingertips trail along the sensitive flesh of her neck and slides lower…and lower. _

_Her lips make its way towards the corner of her mouth as her fingers work the buttons off the girl's shirt. She does it slowly, knowing that she can't resist. _

_She hears her heavy breathing, and the other feels her mouth curve up into a slight grin before she captures her into a deep kiss._

_What they say in movies…what they show you…is wrong. It isn't perfect, not at all._

_Then, she__ feels the other's lips slide off and near her unbuttoned shirt and past that._

_A__ sudden apprehension catches her breath and for a second, she can't breathe. The second she begins to breathe again, she can't resist uttering a loud gasp which quickly turns into a hiss of pleasure. She entwines her fingers into the other's hair, and she mutters something which she has to strain her ears to catch._

_I love you._

OoO

The dull whistle of something sounded, but even that didn't capture her attention. Her eyes were bland, and her actions were mechanical, her voice lifeless. She had woken up alone, clutching at empty air as if her life depended on it. And it did.

The words that burnt themselves into her mind echoed in the distance, as if she was merely a spectator in this cruel game watching it all happen safely in her seat. But even watching was cruel.

_The tone that had been used…there was an indication of some kind. It was filled with remorse, and her kisses were bittersweet__, her touches, though filled with immense longing, were fleeting._

It wasn't the fact that she had been left alone, though that was part of it. No…it was the fact that, though the words sounded real to her, it sent her a message that she hardly dared to believe. She didn't want to believe it. But as the tears escaped her eyes and ran in a steady stream down her cheeks silently, her mind was raging with disbelief.

A final farewell.

OoO

Her fists pounded again and again against the wooden boards, tears trickling faster than ever down her face and onto her clenched hands. But maybe they weren't tears of sadness, but tears of anger. Or maybe both.

Either way, it still hurt. Her eyes were rimmed red, her brown eyes glimmering with unexplainable feeling. Digging her nails in her palms briefly, she uncurled her hand and stared at the angry red shapes marking her rough skin.

She didn't know what had possessed her to say such a thing, but she knew that deep down, it was only her heart speaking for itself. She had considered from the very start that time was not on her side, but she never realized that it would come so soon.

Once more, she slammed her fist on the boards in one last act of fury before standing up shakily. She would have never predicted that situations would lead to something like this…and it killed her inside. Just maybe…the time will come when she can go back, but until then…she won't even consider it.

Perhaps the words were meant to tell another story, but she hoped that it would not come to that. Because more than ever, she knew that _that _would hurt the most, but fate was something she could no longer control.

OoO

She's twenty and living on her own. She knew that normal people would have settled down by now, but not her. She had unfinished business to finish. Hunting.

Oh, how low she had stooped, to even join in a hunt to kill a friend willingly. Despite the past memories (she never looked too far though), she knew that it was _right_ to do what she did. Then again, she didn't know the difference anymore. She knew nothing of morals; it had died three years ago with her dignity.

Then, she realized that it wasn't hunting she was doing, but _murder._ Covered in the blood of her friend, she again felt the tears seep down as she prepared to finish the very thing that had plagued her dreams…and nightmares. Everything past that point was just a blur now.

A cry, a roar, a scream, the sickening splash of liquid that she knew oh so well and relief…she dropped whatever she was holding and slumped to the ground, smiling. Even though it was she who would suffer the consequences, she was happy. Blood dripped from her mouth and trickled out of countless wounds.

Even if she was successful, she still would have failed anyway. But what made everything perfect in the end, was the slight smell of a scent she longed to smell. The other brought her shaky hands towards the arrow that pierced so close to her heart and clutched at it. Even though it stung, she felt it was wonderful.

But still…the only question that roamed her head, despite the happiness encasing her mind, was "Why?" the hands that caressed her face so long ago pressed lightly against her stomach as she saw the other offer a slight grimace of a smile.

"Because I don't want to see you hurt…" she figured that the other wouldn't buy it, even though it was partially true. So, she resigned in defeat, "And because I also love him…"

She should have been outraged, but in the end, she felt it didn't matter. Because now that she thought about it, this was the right thing to do. She lifted a hand and placed it across the other's tear-streaked face in a flimsy slap that was more of a tap if anything. Forcing a grin to appear on her face, she uttered a soft sigh, "I see…"

"You…you're crying…"

"So are you…"

She grabbed hold of the hand she placed on her cheek and gave it a not so gentle squeeze, "Everything's going to be alright…"

"And him…?"

"He's gone…"

"For now…"

She squeezed harder until even her own knuckles turned white, "Don't talk like that, you know, don't go after him anymore! He's not a threat!"

Laughing bitterly, she tried to hide the pain the other was inflicting on her, physically and internally, "Sure, sure…" she gave a gentle smile, one that had not been seen for a long time. A cloud passed over, sending its cold shadows over them, but both paid no attention to the change in temperature.

Her hand started to slip, and she let it fall back to the ground with a soft thump. Her eyes were all cried out, but she could feel the unshed tears shine in her eyes as she lowered her head and their lips interlocked once more. This time, it was not filled with lust and need, but more of…an apology mixed deep within, from the both of them.

When they broke away, she wiped away the evidence that the action had actually been made and insisted once more that everything was going to be alright.

But this time, the other made no move to reply. Her breathing was uneven, but she was still smiling, despite the wounds pouring blood over the place, "You know what…Kagome?"

She choked on her own breath as her name left the other's lips, the way she said it…she had forgotten, and she was disgusted at herself. "W…what?" she asked shakily, still too shocked to say anything. A non-existent clock ticked away, like a bomb was about to be set off.

"This is…the second time you've killed me…"

Time was up.

"No…no…" Kagome shook, her hands shook, and her whole being shook with the impact of reality hit her with full force. Where had the "I'll protect you forever" gone? That was…the one promise Sango had not been able to keep…and she hated that. Why couldn't it have been some other promise that didn't mean so much to her?

But even if time was up, her own clock was still ticking, but it didn't really matter to her. She grasped blindly for the broken object that lay forgotten on the ground, cut her finger on the edges but welcomed the pain. Leaning over the girl whose final breath was wasted on words that meant nothing to her, she slicked the edges with the other's blood before taking her own life.

Her hand traced the lines of the other's jawbone lovingly before slumping over, her mouth turned into a bittersweet smile. Much as her kisses had been.

And her final words were wasted on meaningless words, much like the other's had been.

"Which…goes to show…love can really kill you…more than once…"

_I love you…_

**End.**

OOC: Yes, I have written another piece of work that deals with something quite deep…you can interpret it in anyway you like, though this is the first time I've written something like that (referring to the first paragraph which is written in italics) so forgive me if it's not up to your standards.


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